Writing for a friends site

Hey all,

So one of my friends asked me to join a project that he's doing and I actually decided to do so.

His project is a web site on gaming, however the twist is that it's in french. Like he said, he's never seen something like IGN for the french gaming community and he thought that it would be cool to try and do something like that. Of course right now it's just volunteer work and it's a really low key to start with, but with hard work, I believe the project could be very beneficial.

And so, this marks the first time that I publish my writing online in my native french Canadian language. Actually, come to think of it, not exactly. I did a blog post in french over at my old blog -- which died by the way. However, it wasn't so much an original text more than a translation. It was something warning women to be careful about something I can't remember and I thought it was important to pass along the message in English and French. Ok so this marks the first time I publish an original text in french.

I am also quite proud of myself because I told my friend that if I do this, I present myself the way that I am. I didn't have to say it was non-negotiable since he said he had no qualms regarding that and said that if people had problems with this, then that's their problem. he was quick to ask me not to make a big deal out of it though. He figured that I'd do what I do and if people would find out, well we'll let the chips fall where they may.

I agreed to that and added that I had no trans agenda for the gaming site -- I already have this site for that -- and that it would be and will be games first and game related stuff. I did however tell him that I would talk about me to the rest of the team out of respect. He said that it was ok by him.

And so I did. And so far so good. I just hope that the rest of the team will show me as much respect as I show them.

As for not presenting myself to the public of that site. Well after each entry I do, there is a brief description of who I am with a picture -- the picture with a Chinese parasol. While I do agree I look feminine in that pic, I still think I look kinda guyish. So I figure that by looking at my picture people will be able to tell pretty quickly.

Perhaps the subject of my true identity will be discussed eventually in the forum. Who knows? At that point I'll figure out what to do -- which is pretty easy to think about really. ^-^

Until then this is me signing off.

Camera Get!!!

Hey all,

So last month was my birthday. I went to visit my parents since it was also the long Easter week-end. They got a camera. Not a super high end one. Just a normal one, but it does have 10 megapixels or something like that. ( I'm not one that knows much about cameras. ) Still, this is a pretty cool gift-- that along with J's gifts of Assassin's Creed Brotherhood and Stephen King's book On Writing. ( Yeah, the other day I started writing something and she thought it would be a good gift to give me. ) I'm quite happy about the camera though since I didn't have any of my own.

I know what you're thinking. A transvestite without a camera, that's unheard of. Sadly it exited in the form of me. I guess I never got around to buying one. To busy to use my money to buy games and movies and make up and clothes -- not necessarily in that order though. ^-^

J was very happy that I got the camera. She actually turned into a veritable Kid Kodak that same week-end. But she's mostly happy that we'll get to document... well me. And with the new computer that has a burner on it now, we'll be able to store those photos on discs. Before that the only camera I had was a little Xbox 360 web cam. Of course it doesn't cut it anymore. And the pictures I did have of myself were lost when my older PC crashed. That really suxxored.

Anyway, this was a long way to get at this.

These are pictures of me we took just yesterday and I'm actually quite pleased with the results despite the fact that I'm sans make up. I don't know if there will be much of these in the future -- the 'without make up' kind. But there should be more pictures period. ^-^

Until then this is me signing off.

On fscktards!

Hey all,

While I would like to talk to you about the the other week-end I spent with my girlfriend in which we decided to go to Ikea as Girlfriend and Girlfriend. There's something else I want to talk about.

Since I've started dressing up and going into public in 2006, I've never encountered any problems. The worst I had encountered was the heckling of a couple of people a year or so ago in the metro. They didn't do anything because I didn't pay much attention to them. ( Actually that's not accurate. I didn't want to pay them attention. ) Apparently being a transvestite with a bright pink leather coat will do that. What helped is that I had a book and focused my attention on that so that the heckling would sound like the teachers in Peanuts cartoons. But all in all, I think I managed that incident pretty well.

Fast forward to 2011, last Thursday where I get ready to go meet J and a friend for supper downtown. I finish my routine of showering, do hair and make up and I get out the door. I go to the bus stop near our house. Well actually, we live between two bus stops of the same line, so one is not necessarily closer to the other. One just feels closer. Now to get there, I walk past this place that J and I suspect is a drug house. This young teenager of arabian nationality was sitting on the stoop. He asked me a question regarding if I was either a man or a woman. I answered him, and I don't know why I do this with people when they ask me this question, to guess. Now that kinda got him excited, and not in a good way, and he called out two of his friends that were in the house. At first I was like: 'Ok whatever, show and tell time.' And I was concentrating on looking for the time of the next bus passage. Then I felt them gathering around me and I went: 'Oh oh!' And basically I was right because one of them, probably the most insecure in his masculinity, said something that sounded like 'rushing magnet'. ( Ok ok. He said fscking faggot. But actually in french. So it was more like 'Stie d'tapette'. ) At that point I decided it was not safe to stand there and walked back to the other bus stop. They yelled something again which I can't remember to which I answered with the honor finger.

I thought I was safe. But I turned around to look and they were following me. I'll tell you this now, I was fracking scared.

Now here's a dilemma that I'm facing. I don't know the law to well and most of what I could write here I've already wrote in a complaint to the cops. In fact the beginning of the story I've already wrote in the complaint as well. So I don't know if I continue writing about it, it will hinder my case in any way. I'll make you a deal. Let's wait a couple of months and I'll tell you about it. ( Chances are that it will never pan out and that the investigation will lead to a dead end. ) Suffice it to say that it wasn't pretty even though it wasn't too serious but it's still the basis of the complaint and it's apparently treated as a minor hate crime. It ended when I decided to stand my ground and told them that I didn't want them to follow me anymore. But I tell you this, even if I did puff my chest at that moment, I was fracking scared.

Thoughts of going into neighboring businesses had crossed my mind, but I didn't want to be a bother to them. ( That is a way of thinking I have to get rid of A.S.A.P. ) But in any case, I thank my lucky stars, cause I must have more then one, that it didn't get to serious. But even so, they've left a little fear in me that I don't want. Cause this happened at around 7h30 in the evening. Mind you, these kids were probably the most insecure bunch of fscktards the world as ever bored. Seriously, they were three against one solitary transvestite. If their goal was to install fear in me, then i would say they've succeeded. If their goal was to install so much fear in me that I won't go out anymore. Then they can kiss my tranny ass.

When this happened, one of them asked me: 'Aren't you ashamed of what you are doing?' and I answered him: 'No I'm not ashamed!'. God was also mentioned in this. The traditional: 'God made you a man so why do you want to become this?'. I didn't go into any spiel because I knew it would fall on deaf ears. They were just a bunch of monkeys trying to put words together to sound intelligent.

If for some odd reason they would read this blog, and I know that's not gonna happen because they seem to speak only french, I would say to them: 'Lighten the fsck up!'. The only reason why you guys did this is because you're insecure in your own masculinity. Some of you probably already fantasized of sucking a cock, or getting it from behind. But what you don't understand is that doesn't make you any less of a man. Accepting who you are the way you are makes you a man. So by definition, I'm more of a man then you guys will ever be. And I've probably had more sex with girls then you guys will ever have in your lifetime if you continue being fscktards. ( Having sex with the same partner multiple times counts as different times in my book. ^-^ )

My hope is that one day, everyone will be accepted, no I'll go with tolerated. Asking to be accepted might be too much for some people. So my hope is that one day, everyone will be tolerated the way they are. Perhaps when that day comes, we'll be able to work on accepting each other.

Until then, this is me signing off.

F4I1!!!1!!!!1!1!!.... And other stuff.

Hey everybody,

So yeah, seems I didn't make good on my promise to post once a week. But in my defense, I've had blogger's cramp. ( Or blogger's block. Whatever. ) I've seem to have run out of things to talk about, and yet with my life style, I should be writing your eyes off. ( As opposed to talking your ears off of course. ^w^ ) Maybe it's because I don't know where to start writing. Also, this is a new beginning and I hate that. The fact that I had to quit my first blog really pissed of. ( Again, thanks you M$. ) I sorta had my identity set over there and now I feel I have to start over. It's like I'm creating a sort of pressure on myself.

Also, the fact that I have to learn how blogger works bites as well. Don't get me wrong, it's nice place... if you're über good at HTML. Kinda why I liked MSN spaces. It was cookie cuter, but darn it, it didn't take long before you got used to what you wanted to do. But they changed a couple of things there though and I'm sorta back to square one. Oh well, I guess I've ranted long enough.

So what's been going on in my life. Well nothing much if not a lot of things. ( Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense. But keep in mind that I don't feel like everything in my life is blog worthy or actually all that exciting. ) Since last time I blogged though, I've had a lot more courage to go out now. ( Dressed up I mean. ) I'm able to take the bus and subway without giving a second thought to people. I guess this started during my vacation when I went on a shopping spree while I was dressed up. Alone.

It's something that I had planned for a while now and never got around to do it. You see I've decided that my best chance of survival was to do this during a week day when most people are usually at work and not shopping. But it's quite surprising to see the number of people in mall during the week day. It's not crazy like the evenings or weekends. But there is a lot of people. Kinda makes you wonder how they get their money. In any case, I got to the mall and everything was quite uneventful. The clerks were very courteous with me. The girl at Aditionnelle was very nice, but that's probably due to the fact that her brother is actually a dragqueen. So seeing me wasn't much of a problem for her. Still, points for her. ^-^ I guess people were probably going: 'WTF!' in their minds, but I was too busy jubilating to notice. Also, I wasn't looking at them to see or get a reaction. I just went there existing like anybody would do. ( Don't know if what I just said makes sense, but it does to me. I guess I could extrapolate eventually. ) That being said, I tried to look my best though.

And I guess you're wondering about why I'm comfortable in the bus now. Well, it's because to go there, I have to take two buses. So four buses in total. You see, before I wanted to go someplace dressed, I always used to grab a cab. But it got expensive. Especially if you're going for a night out and you spend half of your money on cab fair. ( Of course, I always take a cab back home after a night out. For me, that's just common sense. Especially at 3am in the morn. ) I remember, it would cost me 50$ just to go down town. So for my outing at the mall. I decided I would take the bus. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Get the courage to go out at a public place that's not the village, and also get the courage to grab the bus and subway.

Since then, anytime I've wanted to dress and I needed to go some place public, I just did. I've went to breakfast for my friends birthday up in a restaurant that most northern to the island. ( For those of you who know Montreal, that very far form the village. ^w^ ) And for another friend's birthday, I actually walked into a pub. Yeah, I'm still surprised about that one. ^-^ So more and more, I'm actually getting the courage to be myself where ever I want to be. Now if I can only get the courage to go into the bathroom. :P

I'll try to do more posts soon. Although that's highly unlikely. I mean Ghostbusters: The Videogame is coming out this tuesday and you can bet your paycheck that I'm going to get my grubby little mitts on it. Plus I'm going to need a new Xbox Live membership card. So I'll be buying those tuesday. Also my rents are coming over the week after. I can't wait to see them, but they're going to be here for like three weeks or something and during that time, I have to put my feminin ways on the side. They accept it, but they're not to see me dressed though. I just hope one day they'll be ok with it. Anyways, I've typed your eyes off too much already. I need to go now.

Until then, this is me signing off.